9/2/2002 4:21:39 PM
9/2/2002 4:21:30 PM
The Bad Story Project
"Oh no!" Jonny exclaimed "Do we have a math test today?"
"Yeah, we have to know the multiplication tables zero through twelwe... haven't you been studying?" Plextor responded/asked.
"I've been working on english. We have to read the Harvey Boys Mystery # 83 by next week."
Just then the teacher, Miss Backwash, became fed up.
"Jonny, Plextor, you two boys hush or you're going in the hall."
The two boys got quiet and Plextor cowered in embarassment. After school was over, they met at the frozen custard stand with their older friend, Mary Vai.
"Mmm, this chocolate custard is good" said Jonny.
"Why do you say that every day, as if we didn't already know how you felt about it?" Mary asked.
"He just likes to act like a commercial!" Plextor spouted.
After everyone had a big laugh except for the custard vendor who hated the children's constant nonsensical jokes, the three friends walked down the hill to their favorite hangout - the forest. On their way, they passed by Mr. Thompson's auto-salvage yard. The kids reminisced about the time they and little Tony Thompson had been fooling with his dad's equipment and killed the Thompson faily cat Tommy by accident. They also remembered how a year later Tony had moved away.
"So Steve Vai is your dad?"
"Yeah, it's pretty cool. Sometimes people come over like the drummer from Pink Floyd."
"You mean Richard Cane?" Plextor asked excitedly.
"No, I don't think that's his name" Mary said.
"Well at least your family is rich" Jonny said.
"No, my dad blew a lot of his money in the 80s on hookers and he did a lot of coke."
"Well, it was the drug to do in the 80s" Plextor pointed out. "Hey, there's Mr. Harlow."
"Hey Mr. Harlow" the kids all shouted.
"Kids, be quiet -- Jimbo is out!"
All the kids started running because they saw Jimbo, Mr. Harlow's siberian husky, bolt through the screen door and turn straight for them.
"Head for the forest!" Mary yelled.
"Aww, man!" Plextor exclaimed as he realized he was shitting on himself as he was running.
When they got to the woods, Jimbo was about two clicks away but recon had no new intelligence for alpha leader Mary.
"Lets head for the treehouse, I don't think siberian huskies can climb trees" said Jonny.
"Dude, I think I crapped myself" said Plextor.
"Well save it, we may need it to throw at Jimbo later" whispered Mary.
"We have to do something, Jimbo will be here soon."
They all agreed with the disconnected voice of reason and decided to go to the treehouse. When they got to the treehouse, Mary began blabbing her feminist crap again.
"I hate that dog Jimbo. He's just like a man, you know... he always acts like the aggressor and comes after people that don't want him around."
"Actually, Jimbo is a female" Plextor replied plainly.
"Yeah, you didn't know that?" Jonny asked.
"Well..." Mary started.
Just then Jimbo jumped out from behind the alliteration.
"Up the ladder!" Mary shouted.
Jonny ran up and Mary followed.
"No. This time I'm not going to run" Plextor said with a gleam in his eye.
"Don't be a fool" Mary pleaded.
Jimbo slowly walked up to the challenging Plextor. Jimbo slowly walked closer. Slowly, Jimbo walked closer. Slowly, the tension built. As the tension slowly built, the reader became more and more interested and worried about what the outcome would be. Plextor stared at Jimbo and Jimbo stared back (slowly). Jimbo sniffed Plextor's hand and lowered his head.
"Aww, good doggymoose" Plextor said to Jimbo.
Jimbo's head was fluffy and Plextor scratched her behind her ears. Mary and Jonny were looking down in disbelief and were impresed with Plextor's courage. Mary jumped down and landed next to Plextor. The crunch of the leaves under her feet starteld Jimbo. Jimbo pounced on Plextor and tore at his soft flesh. Mary tried to help but was a girl. Jimbo slashed Plextor's face with her razor-sharp teeth, she scratched various places with her blunt claws, she poured sugar in his gastank and talked smack about his skills on the mic and left him a bloody mess.
"Oh no! I'm so sorry Plextor!" Mary shrieked as Jimbo ran off.
Jonny jumped down from the tree and broke his arm and collarbone.
----------space here----------
humanitarian?
Earthquake preparedness information:
Los Angeles Earthquake Preparedness Handbook (.pdf format).
Structural engineers in California.
Structural engineers in the United States.
National Council for Structural Engineers Association.
Structural engineers in the United Kingdom.
A calendar:
-------------------
May 5, 2007:
Run at store
May 6, 2007:
Play lotto,
win $2
May 20, 2007:
Have car problems
May 21, 2007:
Stop reading labels
Did you miss the earthquake preparedness links?