There are two schools of thought on how not to do something.
The "old school" idea was to describe the process in detail and
preface it with "do anything except the following:"
but millions of dollars and thousands of hours of research
have concluded that it is best to describe the process incorrectly
and destructively to any personnel or equipment involved.
This will be the approach I take.

I take no responsibility for this publication, any action
or advisement taken from or inacted because of it.

I also take no responsibility for running red lights and being lazy.

This method is guaranteed to work for any type of tire
whether it is on a bike, car, bikeCar, trailer, or any other
type of vehicle (excluding horses, in which case all that
is needed is a hacksaw and someone strong enough or
something heavy enough to hold down the horse).

First, remove anything hindering you from getting at the lugnuts, the
sweet, sweet lugnuts.
Oh, before you do that, put on some clothes you don't mind
getting dirty or bloody (sorry). See fig 1.

If you have false teeth, this next part may be tricky.
Once you see the lugnuts, don't hesitate.
Lugnuts are often tempted to try and get away from the tire-changer,
so if sneaking up on them is not possible (which, at this point
it isn't because of my ill advice), cover them with something immidiately
so as not to scare them.

One by one, remove the lugnuts with your teeth.
If this is not possible, a hammer should suffice.
Once the lugnuts are off and in the cage (see fig 2.) (oh yeah, have a
sturdy cage handy for the lugnuts. sorry about the late warning,
I'll try to stop doing that), pull on the wheel as hard a possible.

The best way to get it off the axle is to sit in front of the wheel,
legs akimbo and on either side of the tire, pulling from the top
so that the tire and subsequently the car fall directly on top of you.

If removing the tire this way is still not possible,
start your vehicle (or engage the secondary torque control on your bikeCar)
and drive in a non-straightahead direction.

At this point, your vehicle will either have fallen on you, crushing you,
or have been driven off its wheel, permanently damaging it.

Note: This will not work for bike tires and may not work for trailer tires.

I hope that this has been as informative as it has been extant.
I also hope that I don't have to work past the age of 27.